The Rogue Stitch

Du Jardin du Luxembourg:

With beautiful weather overtaking the capital, the Stitch made a foray into the Garden this afternoon. Le flâneur s’amuse à sa guise toujours à Paris. The pictures, I hope, speak of summer. Big up to Marie de Médicis for making it all possible.











So, as you can probably tell from these photos, the Parisians are great when it comes to pairing modern and classical art. That's why you'll find the Panthéon on one bank of the Seine, and the Centre Pompidou on the other. In between the two, you'll find le Pont des Arts:





More to come soon. I'm out.

From the roof:

Have you ever fallen to the delirium nocturnum, head spinning in the night's air, whilst ochre and amber tones melt across the darkened sky?



Or watched faces blur in the witching hour, their voices lost in the din of the metropolis?



Or seen midnight shadows emerge from a russet summerscape?



Such accounts do not stem from happenstance in Brooklyn. No, they recall fast times and life across the bridge.

Imagine finding the same in Paris--induced by indulgence on the Mouffe'.



Right. So once the weather improves in Gaul, the Stitch'll have more to show. For now, I'll leave you with these links:

Snakes on a Plane, snakes who complain, snakes, more snakes, too many muthf***in' snakes.

10 Celebrities capable of destroying your bathroom (courtesy of JFunk and the High Life.) Of course, this post begs the question: what about John Madden, Courtney Love, and John Witherspoon?

Could this be the Italian team training for the World Cup?

N to the O to the R to the R to the I to the S: Chuck Norris. (yeah, it's been a while spent away from Rogue references to TRanger's roundhouse kicks.)

Geraldo Rivera smoking a doob, and laughing about it 30 years later. That's pretty high!

Donkey Lips tried to be a Scientologist--and dropped $12k in the process.

From a place called home:

Vermont is gorgeous right now. And I have the pictures to prove it.







If only I had a few shots of the lake.... or better yet, the lakefront crowd in Girling...er, Burlington. Remind me, again, of why I'm not spending the rest of the summer here with a frosted drink in hand. Hell, I'm even thinking about giving up my habit of sleeping in to catch this morning view on a regular basis:



Alright, so that would probably be impossible. And it turns out that I left the northern wilds for Brook-nam this morning. I did want to stay up there a while longer though. But damn, New York's lookin' good too:



Williamsburg, yo. Too cool for you--and me. Hipsters, dirty hipsters. And the spot's just blowing up. Build, baby, build. Give me an apartment with a view.



Of course, a trip to New York wouldn't be complete without a pilgrimage to Queens, and the stadium we call Shea.



Yup, we sat directly behind home plate, up in foul ball territory. And not a single one came our way. We did see, however, one fly off to our right and hit the peanut (or hot dog) guy. It bounced right off the tray he was carrying on his head. Funny shit. one in a million.

We also saw Jose Reyes hit for the cycle, making him the 9th Met to do so in the franchise's history. Hell, I felt like we were in Hamburg, with the chant of "Ole, ole, ole....Jose, Jose" that went through the crowd. (Btw, Reyes is hitting .489 over the last 11 games.)

Billy Wagner had to blow the game, though. One strike away from a win, and Mr. $43m ruined the night with a telegraphed fastball. If he pulls that shit in August when the Mets visit the Rockies, he ain't leaving Colorado.

And that's the word.

From Flushing, Queens:

Yes, the Mets do have the best record in baseball. Eight-game winning streak. Gotta believe. The Stitch need not say more.

From an organic farm in Colorado:

Twas a beautiful day for a wedding. Bluebird skies, puffy clouds, verdant fields, flowers abound. God, what a setting. So this guy dressed to the nines found this girl wearing white and the two of them got hitched.



Soon thereafter, the celebration moved indoors. Someone opened a tab. The bartendress laughed when I asked for a Schlitz . The groom sang a bit of Clapton to his new bride.



Then the cameras came out to capture the inebriation.



There was plenty of posing:



Some head rubbing:



Some necking:



A bit of licking:



And some more:



All in all, it was a great night. Cant wait for the next couple to get hitched.

In other news, Notre Dame DB Tom Zbikowski had Masidon Square Garden chanting his name during his pro boxing debut Saturday night. They also sang the Notre Dame fight song, leading Zbikowski to knock guy out in the first round. Catch the match here. Oh yeah, Jeff Samardzija led the procession into the ring with a Polish flag.



Henry Rollins has responded to the Ann Coulter controversy. Talk about a man of letters--and a case of right-wing neurosis versus mild male chauvanism.



At last, the Borat movie trailer is out on the web. Look for the cameo by Borat's sister--the number 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan.



Borat also made an appearance at the MTV Movie Awards to introduce Gnarls Barkley and their Wookie drummer. But first he made one hellava comment about the anatomy of a certain someone.



Later y'all.

From the Gates of Hell:

So Tuesday passed and not much happened. Maybe because it was really 06/06/2006, and the date only resembled a more infamous number ever so slightly.

If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666. (Rev. 13:18)

Well, I guess a few things happened. The guy in the picture--his name is Steve. Satan let him come through the gates for a week or so. He's now terrorizing all the Parisian tourist spots, looking like a typical middle-aged American on vacation. Socks and sandals, buddy? Has Versace not taught the denizens of Hell anything since his untimely death?

(Btw, the Musee Rodin is one of my favorite spots in Paris.... look for a few pics in the weeks to come as the Stitch takes the blog on the road. I might be knockin' on the gates to see if anyone's home.)

The Ol' Devil apparently let another fiend out of her cage this week. And Coulter has not disappointed the Dark Lord.



Disclaimer: the Stitch is gonna use a bit of foul language and imagery from this point out, so kids you might want to make sure your parents aren't hanging around while this page is open.

Ann Coulter should be sued. We're talking group libel. Hit that bitch where is hurts. No, not in the babymaker (which could only bear the Anti-Christ anyway), but in her wallet. Obviously she's running her mouth to sell books, so the profits should make their way right to those that she chose to defame. And what did the bitch say in her new book Godless? Here are some of her best lines:

These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief-arazzis....

And by the way, how do we know their husbands weren't planning to divorce these harpies? Now that their shelf life is dwindling, they'd better hurry up and appear in Playboy....

These self-obsessed women seemed genuinely unaware that 9-11 was an attack on our nation and acted as if the terrorist attacks happened only to them.

She's of course referring to the "Jersey Girls"--four women widowed by the attack on the WTC--who pushed for the 9/11 Commission. Interestingly enough, the criticized both the Clinton and Bush Administrations for not taking the Al-Qaeda threat more seriously--and yet wind up in Coulter's polemic against liberalism.

As Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-Brooklyn, said, this bitch is willing to do anything to get attention. (ok, bitch is the only way I can describe her; Weiner compared her to an "insecure child.")

So I'm hoping the Jersey Girls go after her in court--and do so in New York, where a jury would inevitably award the women a nice chunk of change. Here's the legal argument:

False imputation of matrimonial intentions are actionable. (see 44 A.L.R. 1424)

Words or publication imputing marital discord are actionable per se. (see 92 A.L.R. 1128)

Restatement, Second, of Torts § 564A Defamation of a Group or Class
One who publishes defamatory matter concerning a group or class of persons is subject to liability to an individual member of it if, but only if,
(a) the group or class is so small that the matter can reasonably be understood to refer to the member, or
(b) the circumstances of publication reasonably give rise to the conclusion that there is particular reference to the member.

Yup, time to take Coulter down a peg. And kudos to Tucker Carlson (yes, I just gave that conservative douchebag props) for pointing out the inconsistency in faulting the widows for using personal tragedy to push their agenda and not addressing how the Bush administration co-opted 9/11 for justifying the war in Iraq. Coulter's answer: That's their job. Wow.

After seeing Coulter's interview with Matt Lauer, I asked myself what didn't he ask the bitch where her husband is. Could you imagine Lauer saying, "Oh yeah, that's right; most men fear that your vagina is filled razor blades and you piss rubbing alcohol." Or he could have accused her of eating her mates after sex. (Personally, I would have told her to shut the fuck up and drop dead--as someone who had family in the towers--but that's just me.)

I can't wait to see if she offers a public apology. You know, maybe show that she's human after all. Ha! who'd expect the Stitch to wait for Hell to freeze over!

So this is what becomes of our youth when people like Ann Coulter are not held accountable for their mouths.



Ok, enough of Coulter. On to less aggravating topics.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party comes out on dvd June 13th. Pick it up! We're talkin' Mos Def, Talib Kweli, Common, Kanye, and the Fugees in Brook-nam. Erykah Badu's on there too; gotta love her lyrics:

And if you don't want to be down with me / You don't want to pick from my apple tree.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince didn't show up at the party, but the former did make an appearance at the 1st Annual Scolari Awards.

Let the World Cup begin. I'm betting on the Germans--home team always plays well.



Remember Gary Lineker's quote back in 1990 when Germany defeated England in a shoot-out:

Fußball ist ein einfaches Spiel von 22 Leuten, die rumlaufen, den Ball spielen, und einem Schiedsrichter, der eine Reihe dummer Fehler macht, und am Ende gewinnt immer Deutschland.

Why soccer isn't doing all that well in the States.

Of course everyone likes to talk about Brazil--and why shouldn't they. Ronaldinho has the most incredible shoes ever made. This video is friggin' ridiculous. Skillz to pay da billz, yo.



Brazilian fans tend to be distracting as well. [nsfw-ish]

Later, folks.

From the final round in Washington:

Quick, check her hand; I think she has Persian roots words written on there. She's cheating! Cheater, from the Middle English word eschete; it's a noun. Here, I'll use it in a sentence: writing the answers on your palm makes you a cheater!

So a few days ago, a group of us would-be lawyers made a drinking game out of The World's Deadliest Catch. Crab fishing and drinking beer... funny shit. Naturally, we had to come up with some rules for the spelling bee. Here's how it went:

1. Drink every time some kid tries to spell the word in his/her hand, 2. Drink every time someone misspells a word, 3. Drink every time someone cries. (actually, we expanded rule 1 to include every nervous tick, and rule 3 to include getting choked up.)

I don't remember if we implemented a full beer rule for the kid who faints.

The competition was stiff and the drinking regular with these characters:

I'd have to say the highlight was when the word strategery stumped the competition's MC:

Bush pulled it together, though, and later asked the champ if she could help him spell Ahmadinejad in any future letter to his Persian penpal Mahmoud. He then had this to say after seeing Al Gore's new film.

I think most of the boozers were rooting for the Canadian girl who completely blew it on weltschmerz. At least she took 2nd place with a bit of hoser grace.

We were hoping her fellow Canuck Anqi Dong would make it to the later rounds just so we could hear the announcers say his name over and over again. (hey, it's a spelling bee; we're allowed to degenerate to grade school antics.)

Drink, Anqi, for writing in your hand.

And what, you ask, were the two best words from the competition?

Psittacism: mechanical, repetitive (parrot-like) speech without thought of the meaning of the words spoken .

Heiligenschein: German for light of the holy one and my favorite, of course.

Alright, enough with the spelling bee. What else shall I talk about? Ok, one last bee joke:

Moderator: Your word is "sensuous."

Kid: Sensuous? Can you use it in a sentence?

Moderator: Sensuous up here, why don't you give me your mom's phone number?

Kid: Sensuous. D-U-D-E-T-H-A-T-S-G-R-O-S-S. Sensuous.

In other new, Britney's still spiraling downward. Behold her current state:

Stripper shoes, tattoo on her foot, poorly dyed hair, bright red lipstick... who does she look like all of a sudden? That's right, our favorite crackhead and pill-popper:

Now if only we can get K.Fed to off himself like Kurt. That'll of course rob the music world of another bright talent, but such is how things should and must be.

Speaking of music talent, I ask you, Stitch fans, which rap duo is the best out there? Outkast? Maybe.

Black Star (Mos & Kweli)? Closer.

Actually, the best duo I've heard is made up of Hip-Hop-apotamus & Rhyme-noceros, cuz there ain't no party like my nana's tea party.

So what's the relationship between The Simpsons and college football? Well, supposedly Mr. Burns represents Notre Dame, Smithers Boston College, and Seymour Skinner good ol' Colorado. You can see the rest of the cast--and explanations--here.