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The Rogue Stitch

Words of wisdom, wit, and whatever else you need.
 

Sunday, August 20, 2006



From the coach section:

Finally, after all the hype, America got to see a bunch o' snakes on a plane this weekend... and Sam Jackson deliver the best line of his career:

I've had it with these muthaf*ckin' snakes on this muthaf*ckin' plane!

If you think about it, the scenario just begs the question--how did the snakes make it onto the plane in the first place? Ask Eddie Kim, I guess, since apparently he can get a couple hundred on board at a moment's notice. W.W.H.S.? Huh? No, I ain't talking 'bout Jesus here. Where was Homeland Security?

I just feel sorry for all those snakes out there trying to get around legitimately. Second-class citizens. Would-be terrorists. All eyes on you. At least Snakes McGee and Lacey Boa were able to get their vacation in before the film came out.

Who?

the gentle lady snake, Lacey Boa:



and her beau, the ruff, gruff, beer-swillin' Snakes McGee:



About a month ago, Snakes surprised Lacey at their front range home in Colorado with two first-class tickets to Europe. First though they had to take a train to NYC.

Snakes on a train!



Snakes in Williamburg. Scared the shit out the hipsters. Bunch of sissies.



Ironic twist #1: Snakes and Lacey flew Aer Lingus from JFK. Somewhere St. Patrick rolled over in his grave.



The flight was decent, of course. The couple even wound up with a row all to themselves. (why the other passengers got up and moved seats remains unclear. )





Knowing the Irish to be a rather quarelsome and superstitious lot, Snakes and Lacey caught a quick connection from Dublin to Paris to avoid any confrontation worthy of St. Pat's blessing.

Needless to say, the snakes had a great time in Gaul.

Snakes on a baguette:



Snakes in the Luxembourg Gardens:



Snakes at the Place Igor Stravinsky:



Snakes on a Henri de Miller statue:



Snakes near a gargoyle:





Ironic twist #2: Snakes and Lacey had their best night at the best bar in Paris, La Pomme d'Eve. (4 rue Laplace, around the corner from the Pantheon in the 5th arrondissement.) The owner, George, treated the two to a couple of rounds.





Snakes then started hitting on Sylvana behind the bar and some random chick thereafter.





Lacey wasn't exactly pleased with his antics, but the situation was quickly diffused with promises of a future vacation in Hawaii.



Let's see if they ever get there....

Friday, August 11, 2006



From Vermont:

Sorry y'all--it's been a while since I posted something on the Stitch, but I think I came down with the bird flu during my final days abroad. Look for more up on the site in the coming days though; I've been focussed on convalescing so I can get back into writing..... about snakes. August 18th. For now, I'll leave you with a clip of my favorite target, Mrs. Kevin Federline. For all you pregnant mothers out there--just say no to drugs. Or are we just dealing with stupidity here?

 
   





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