The Rogue Stitch

From somewhere outside of Tehran:

So the Stitch has never paid much attention to the rhetoric coming out of Persia, but suddenly I feel compelled to state the obvious: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is one neurosis short of a full-blown schizo picnic. This nut is tempting fate and a third world war, and just doesn't seem to get Bush's firm, midwestern belief in an 11th Commandment:



Thous shall not messeth with the bull, for the horns are sure to follow. Look, Bush is smiling 'cause you know he'd love to find you in a rat hole just like that formerly-mustachioed man who tried to off his father.



Sadd-ahmadinejad needs to take a look around and ask himself who would possibly help out if the U.S. came a'knocking: two of his neighbors were forcefully ejected from their upstart pulpits with ease (one of them on the weakest of pretenses you can possibly imagine), the Jewish guy down the street is just itching to drop the bomb on him, the Russians wouldn't dare step in to his rescue ('cause nothing spells out shame like a tank falling apart before it even gets to the border), and the Red Chinese government dislikes Islam just as much as the junior senator from Kansas. You got no friends, Mahmoud. Oh yeah, and the Sunni world thinks you're an apostate.

So keep on coming up with grand ideas like sponsoring a holocaust cartoon contest, you fucking retard. Statesmen rely on tact to defuse dangerous situations; you like to pour petrol on the bonfire.

Oh, but I guess this latest stunt is your answer to the Jyllands Posten cartoon controversy:







I'm not sure what is more offensive to Mahmoudy here: the depiction of Muhammed's manly mug, or the mocking of the idea that virgins await suicide bombers in the afterlife.

Btw, I hope those idolatrous Danes realize that you can't expect levelheaded reactions to flow from societies in which a mere cartoon can lead to the torching of embassies.

Now I'm just waiting for the Catholics to riot over South Park's penchant for making fun of Jesus and the Holy See, as well as the Hindus to set fire to Springfield (Massachusetts, hopefully) after Homer's impersonation of Ganesh.

Well, at least some Muslim firebrands had the forethought to get two messages out at once.



Ha. Yeah, so I had some fun with Photoshop tonight. I saved the best for Sadd-ahmadinejad:



(notice the gansta-lean on Mahmoud's hat; evidently he's gone all ghetto.)



See. I knew there was something screwy with this dude's processor. (God, that was a bad joke. I apologize for that right there, Lord. Git 'er done.)

Fatwah the Stitch, bitch. I dare you.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 06, 2006 at 9:15 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.