From a cryogenics center near you:
The Stitch has thawed, ladies and gentlemen. Shady's back; return of the mack; les cent jours viennent; here I am again. Hopefully some of you missed the words of wit, wisdom, and whatever else you need. You know what they say about taking a rock away from a crackhead....
Of course, this means that exams are over and that I survived the first year of law school. Hard to believe that I am one step closer to being able to sue your asses on my own. Jt Castleton, Esquire. Sounds nice, doesn't it?
So plenty happened during my hiatus--plenty on which I would love to comment. But where to begin? Might as well start with these three:
Shame on Dan Brown for ripping off Baigent & Leigh's Holy Blood, Holy Grail. Shame on Tom Hanks for growing his hair out. Shame on Amelie for associating such a pretty smile with such a disappointing adaptation.
So the controversy surrounding The Da Vinci Code is rather ridiculous. I'm guessing the Catholic uproar is a ploy of self-promotion from Opus Dei. Reverse psychology. Y-G-O-L-O-H-C-Y-S-P. Either that or the Dei is trying to put out a fire by throwing petrol on the flames. As I said, ridiculous.
Jesus and Mary Magdalene? That ho? Come on now, we all know that Jesus would have married the hottest Jewish chick out there. Da Vinci knew it too:
(that's Natalie Portman in there, if you couldn't tell.)
I wonder if Ratzinger's going to see the film. Probably not--I heard he recently came down with the bird flu.
Yeah, the pope got it from a cardinal.
What else, what else. Iraq seems to be a hot topic. Saddam won't enter a plea in his trial. Sunnis and Shiites are picking up where the Hatfields and McCoys left off. Fallujah's living up to its namesake (Syriac Pallugtha, meaning division). Choppers are going down like interns in the White House, circa 1997; like Bush's present-day approval ratings; like the Detroit Pistons after 'Sheed's game 4 guaranty.
But is Iraq really that bad? Hey, if our troops have enough time (and Jell-O) to put out a video for Lazy Ramadi, then one has to wonder about the state of affairs over there. (don't forget fishing in Afghanistan with a rocket launcher.)
Plus, Maj. Gen. Rick Lynch has resorted to picking on Al-Zarqawi's choice of footwear. In related news, New Balance shares were up Thursday, on word of higher sales forecasts in the Middle East. Meanwhile, Nike released its newest ad campaign in Baquba yesterday:
What else? Well, Jack Bauer is still trying to save the world on 24. Apparently, after taking on President Logan and Russian separatists, Jack went after a Christmas Tree.
Britney Spears also announced that she's preggers, again. Shoot her for breeding; shoot me for using the word "preggers" like some D-list celeb commentator on Extra!
Oh God, big sunglasses, a cigarette and Uggs....Britney's dressing like a CU undergrad. Surely these are signs of the Apocalypse. (Click here for more on Mrs. PopoZao, and note the message on her trucker hat. Click here for James Lipton reading the lyrics to K.Fed's master-piece-of-shit on Conan O'Brien.)
Alright, then; the Stitch is back. I leave you now with the evolution of dance.
This entry was posted
on Thursday, May 18, 2006 at 12:14 PM.
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Where have you been? You have been missed, that's where.
Glad they got you the anti-venom in time!
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