From the Sweepstakes Lineup:
So the big wigs at Fox decided to cut back on their order for new Arrested Development episodes and not run the show during Sweeps. Not right. Not at all.
How is it that a show can win every friggin' award possible, stave off the axe for two years, only to face the chopping block at the height of its glory? Theory one: conspiracy. A British crime syndicate with Iraqi connections, or perhaps the Illuminati, seeks to deprive the masses of genius. Theory two: a ruse or what have you. Deception of the highest level. Market-based subterfuge. Threaten to cancel and incite outrage; force the loyal to sign an online petition; force them to sign another; force them to sign the network's loyalty oath; call even more attention to the show, thereby augmenting the viewing population for the remainder of the season; bring back the Bluths after all for the lucrative DVD sales. Theory three: ineptitude. Someone at Fox hired this guy to make decisions when they should have left him in the mailroom. Theory four: dolla dolla bill, yo. Too many stars to pay and the network is cheap. They wouldn't even pay for a plane ticket to have Rick Gervais guest star on the show. We're talking about the funniest living Brit (after John Cleese) and the creator of The Office. Just imagine putting these two together:
Fox, you blew it. Go shoot yourself with John Mayer. Oh, wait; seems my taunting already took care of that. He won awards too.
Some would think that I now have a guilty conscience. Nope.
Big up to the other Arrested Development, by the way:
Here, have a dollar,
in fact no brotherman here, have two;
Two dollars means a snack for me,
but it means a big deal to you.
Be strong, serve God only,
know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits;
That's the poem I wrote for the first time
I saw a man with no clothes, no money, no plate:
Mr.Wendal, that's his name,
no one ever knew his name cause he's a no-one
Never thought twice about spending on a ol' bum,
until I had the chance to really get to know one.
Now that I know him,
to give him money isn't charity;
He gives me some knowledge,
I buy him some shoes;
And to think blacks spend all that money on big colleges,
still most of y'all come out confused.
Now that's old school. God, the 90s were great. Post-Cold War utopia. Stock market boom. Cheap gas. Ossama who? The rise of hip-hop. The fall of glam rock. Coed naked t-shirts. Baggy pants. Bill and his intern. Bill and Ted. Brach Davidians. Full House idealism. Life lessons for middle America as told by a black family in Bel Air. Seven strangers picked to live in a house and yell at each other. Sega Genesis. Hurricane Bertha. OJ Simpson. SNL with actual comedians and unhealthy excesses. Michael Jordan and the Dream Team. Internet fortunes. Amy Fisher knock-knock jokes. Beavis. The smell of teen spirit. Butthead. Actually partying like it was 1999. Y2K hysteria. Crystal Pepsi. Marrion Barry's crack pipe.
Let's just end it on that high note.
Who likes cupcakes? Better yet, origami?
Seriously though, bring back Arrested Development.
This entry was posted
on Sunday, November 13, 2005 at 11:45 PM.
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