Friday, July 13, 2007
From the Park:
Thought I'd momentarily retreat from the hectic city streets to throw up a post, which I know are few and far between these days. Hope you find these as amusing as I did. All headlines from the news this week:
This story showed up in the US media, but they abridged the full story. Yes, she is a 51-yr old grandmother; yes, he's 27; yes, she has multiple sclerosis; yes, he already has one wife; and yes he's one of OSB's sons. What the American articles left out: this is her sixth marriage, and she was married to a Saudi at the age of 16. Crazy, yo.
So this guy busts into a swank house, puts a gun to the head of a 14-yr old girl, some woman named Cha Cha tells him to have a glass of wine (Chateau Malescot St-Exupery, I might add), he eats some cheese, asks for a hug, asks for a group hug, and then leaves. WTF??????????!
And they're both from Inner Mongolia.
Miss New Jersey unlady-like? Bullshit. No way. There's absolutely no chance that a beauty queen from the Armpit of America can possibly be described as such. She and her predecessors have been--and always will be--the epitome of style, class, and dignity. Frankly, I don't care about these photos; what I really want to see are the ones of her 10 years from now when she's stripping at bachelor parties somewhere outside of Hoboken with the guinea guido wop fuck groom-to-be blowing lines off her ass. Until then, I'll just keep laughing at her trying to explain how tame the present photos really are. My god, I was in tears watching the video. (Oh btw, her reaction to winning is just about as fake as her tits will be once she starts her future job.)
and finally:
Well, apparently John Mayer was right behind me as I was sucking face at a trendy, hidden bar last night. That's what happens when you throw back one too many mojitos--you tend to overlook prime opportunities. If this chick had not distracted me, I could have turned around and told JM that (a) his songwriting sucks and (b) he should go off himself. M*****F*****!!! Somebody shoot me! And no, I don't think she was worth it. (Side note: I guess Mayer was across the street with Tyra Banks when we walked in but I missed that too. Don't think I would have insulted him in front of her; she's kinda scary when she gets angry.)
